All Hail King Kuba!

Hrad Buchlov, Castle Buchlov.

Now, if you ask my mom, she'll tell you hrad means "fortress."  And that a zamek, like Buchlovice, is a castle (Buchlovice Castle).  But my dad says that Buchlov is castle-like in every sense of the word.  (At least the way we Americans were brought up to think about them.)

It sits high up on a hill in the forests and overlooks everything around it.  It's really cool.  This is my first castle, just like my dad.  My dad has been here a bunch of times because he likes it so much.  We didn't even take the tour and he was telling me all about it!

I guess you can take the teacher out of the classroom, but you can't take the teacher out of my dad.  Here he is pointing out the entryway to Buchlov.

It's probably a good thing we didn't take the tour, I stopped listening and just started looking around shortly after this - I had to take it all in.  So, if you want to learn more about Hrad Buchlov, clink on one of the links above.  If you want to know what I thought about it, I have a few adjectives for you:  huge, impressive, awesome.

Now, my dad has had this crazy idea for a photograph ever since before we got here.  He has wanted to buy me a toy shield and sword and take me here to Buchlov for a picture on top of the castle.  Seriously.  
Mom talked him out of buying it back home and packing it because there was no room in the suitcases for it.  We found an inexpensive platic one at the local toy store here in Brod, but again, my mom talked him out of buying it because she was afraid my cousin Petr and I would beat the snot out of each other with it.  On the way to Buchlov we stopped in Hradišté and found another sword and shield.  This time, however, dad talked mom out of buying it because it was made out of wood and he was afraid of what damage I could do with a wooden sword.

Well, guess what cool souvenir I got from Buchlov?

 

That's right!  I got a wooden sword!  And then I justified my parents' fears... 

I was ready to take on the armor in the gift shop!  I was a new person - an armed and dangerous person.  I was a toddler with a sword!

At first I was content just dragging it over the cobblestones hearing the plnk plnk noise it created.  But soon, that wasn't enough.

Then I realized I could swing the sword around.  That was pretty fun.  I nearly gave my babi (grandma) a heart attack running around swinging the sword at other tourists.  (You'll notice there are no pictures of that because my parents were chasing me around trying to keep me from smacking innocent bystanders.)  They laughed and said not to worry, that they could defend themselves. 

Well, that only emboldened my efforts.  I felt ready to take on the castle.  Infadels be damned!

As you can see, my parents taught me my manners.  At first I tried knocking.  Then I tried the doorknob.  That didn't work either.  I took off to make sure I was at the right place.  I mean, this is a castle, right?  Finally I had no choice but to wait it out until the tour guide came.

Oh, I know what you're thinking, "You said you didn't go on a tour."  We didn't.  I'm just a kid and my parents didn't think I would be able to handle going on the full tour.  So instead we just took a direct route to the top of the tower.  You'll notice in the following pictures that I'm not holding my sword.  That's because everyone was afraid that I would launch it over the edge and do some real damage!  

Enjoy some pics!

After all that fun it was time for a snack.  You may think that I'm scared in this picture, but I'm not.  I was just caught off guard because I was unarmed and I thought I was under attack from all sides.  My dad just happened to time this picture at the wrong moment as I was coiling up to spring foward and grab the sword off the wall and unleash some Kuba fury in this place.  Again, it was just a poorly timed picture.  Fortunately my parents calmed me down before anything happened.

Well, not exactly...

You see... My dad took all these years of Russian.  Then he met my mom who doesn't speak Russian, she and her family speak Czech.  So, he just taught himself Czech so that he could talk to his in-laws and go around town on his own.  (Yeah, my mom will help him... Sometimes.)

So anyway, my dad placed the order here.  A beer for himself, Kofola (soda) for my mom and babi, and hranolky (french fries) for me.

Unfortunately for him though, the lady at the restaurant didn't understand him too well.  So he ended up with his beer and my fries and three sodas!  (You'll notice that the food and beer were ordered correctly though.)

So, we took the krigl (glass) from the Kofola and high-tailed it out of there!  
 










Well, good-bye.  I hope you enjoyed reading about my tour of Buchlov.  And remember:  Us toddlers may look all cute and funny, but when we're armed - WATCH OUT!